Pain
by WolfletteMoon
Summary: Songfic to 'pain' by three days grace. Sequal to 'My demise', I suggest you read that first. Murtagh has get another psychotic breakdown. RatedM for contemplation and planning of suicide. One-shot.


**This is a follow on from 'my demise', so I suggest if you haven't read that you do so before you read this.**** It'll make a lot more sense. This is basically just more Murtagh emoness and psychotic breakdowns, set to the three days grace song 'pain'. **

**I do not own the Inheritance cycle or three days grace.**

**I've portrayed Murtagh as being more broken and vulnerable as Paoloni does, but I'm not being intentionally OOC, I'm just trying to portray a different side of the character.**

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

'Murtagh, don't you dare' the dragon screeched in his mind, clawing at the bathroom door. He gripped the knife tightly, letting it slice open his palm. "And what will you be able to do to me if I do?" he mumbled, barely audible. Raising the blade to his wrists, Murtagh blocked his dragon from his thoughts, instigating a savage roar from Thorn.

_You're sick of feeling numb_

_You're not the only one_

The dragon tried desperately to force his way into his rider's mind, whilst doing all that he could to destroy the door between them. As a jolt to the back distracted him, Thorn found a hold in his rider's mind. 'Murtagh, listen to me' he snapped.

_I'll take you by the hand_

_And I'll show you a world that you can understand_

'You're not the only one in this situation. What about me? I would be lost without you- I need you! And I'm always going to be here, for when you need me.' His tone softened towards the end, and he stopped mauling the door. "You need me?" he scoffed, lowering the knife only a little. "No, you don't need me. Nobody needs me- nobody wants me!" his voice became a screech, echoing through the room. "Not my mother, not my father, not Eragon or The Varden or-"

_This life is filled with hurt_

_When happiness doesn't work_

'I want you. I picked you, over everybody else that ever lived, I chose you.'

"Would you pick me again? If you got a do-over?"

'Every single time'

_Trust me and take my hand_

_When the lights go out you will understand_

"And you promise you'll never leave?"

'Not if the Gods themselves offered me a place as their fat, overfed house pet' Murtagh rested his head against the bathroom door, letting the knife drop to the floor.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Thorn waited patiently outside the bathroom, not wanting to pester him to leave it. Murtagh would come out in his own time. He could hear some gentle sobs coming from the other side of the door, followed by gulping. The door opened a crack, Murtagh peering out from the gloom. He pushed through the door and into the room.

_Anger and agony_

_Are better than misery_

Murtagh leant against the wall, glaring at the mirror. Out of the blue, he launched a high kick at it, shattering it on impact. 'Must you keep destroying your mirror?' sighed Thorn wearily. He would rather Murtagh didn't destroy the room, but he would rather that than he try to destroy himself. At least the carnage gave him some sort of outlet.

_Trust me, I've got a plan_

_When the light go off you will understand_

"Do you have anything better for me to do?" the rider asked, pulling the mirror frame off the wall. He snapped it over his knee, and then again, until it was reduced to nothing more than splinters. 'There are a lot of better thins for you to do. Why don't you lie down and clear you head?' the dragon suggested.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing, rather feel pain_

"Because I don't want to!" he screeched. He leaned back against the wall, dropping to his knees. "Just leave me alone." He began to whimper, hi face buried in his hands.

_I know, I know that you're wounded_

'I know this is difficult Murtagh' Thorn tried to sooth him, 'but you have to try to hold on, please'

_You know, you know that I'm here to save you_

'I'm still here. You still have me. Can't you try to hold on, for me?'

_You know, you know I'm always here for you_

'Don't ignore me Murtagh. I'm not going to give up. Answer me!'

_I know, I know that you'll thank me later_

Murtagh looked up from his hands, watching the dragon cautiously. "I'm listening." Thorn laid his head beside his rider. The man placed his palm on the dragon's snout, neither bothered with the blood that seeped from the gash.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'You are just worsening you suffering. Thinking like this will not help anything, it'll just make it worse.' Murtagh leant forwards, letting his chest droop onto thorn. He moved his hand to underneath the dragons chin, tickling it like one would a cat.

'_cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

"Maybe" he mused, "but it's all I seem to know how to do."


End file.
